December 25, 2012

Joyeux noel, ma famille.

SPIRITUAL THOUGHT:
Just took me three tries to spell the word "spiritual". That can't be a good sign. Ah well, here goes anyway.

So, for those of us who aren't in New Caledonia, today is Christmas. We get to have one day which, if we do it right, is entirely committed to the commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Fun aside on that-this week in choir, the director said that he had done a little bit of research on the topic, and had found that according to Joseph Smith, pre-terresrial beings are capable of appearing to others on Earth. This came up, because we were practicing "The First Noel", and he made the point that theoretically, we could have been one among those numberless concourses of angels, singing praises at the birth of the King. And, assuming I was anything like I am now, I can only imagine that I jumped at the chance to be part of a choir of any sort. It's a fun thought, anyway. But the point is that from that Christmas night all the way to this one, people keep on coming together to celebrate the birth of Jesus, the Son of God. And then I heard something this past week that made me think-in the Sunday devotional, the speaker said that there would absolutely be no Christmas, if there was no Easter. That we celebrate this Baby's birth, because of this Man's life, and ultimately, because of this Messiah's death. We celebrate His birth, because it is the mortal beginning of His mission. May we talk about that for a second?

In 2 Nephi 9:6, we read that "He offereth Himself a sacrifice for sin". I read that this past week, and reflected on the significance of the wording. He is not given, He is not offered-nor could He be. "He offereth Himself". I read that, and I think more than anything else about His agency. For one reason or another, it was a topic I had hardly ever thought of before. Granted, we talk often about the fact that He had a choice. But somehow, we seem to ignore the fact that he made a choice. We tend to think of agency in a somewhat limited perspective. Christ, yes, had the choice at any point to rescue Himself from His tormentors, and He chose not to. But more importantly, He made the most difficult choice that anyone had ever made-to submit to the Father, and to take upon Himself the pains of the world.

In the Gospel according to Elder Santos, we read that, really, each of us has our own Plan of Salvation. The Plan of Kamalu's Salvation will wend its course, entirely dependent on the choices that I make throughout my existence. Your Plan of Salvation, too. But the pillars of the plan are those moments in which the purpose of God would stand or fall on the exercise of one person's agency. It is because of Adam's choice that men are, and it is because of Christ's choice that men might have joy. 

And that brings our story right back around to us. I don't think we emphasize nearly enough the importance of our choices. I would humbly submit that doing the right thing is not enough; doing the right thing will never be enough. Why? It comes back to our agency. I noticed a pattern early in my life-that many of the great spiritual leaders who I looked up to were not born into the Church-they were converts, and each had great spiritual experiences which lead to their conversion. I even, in my youthful-er ignorance(-er?), began to envy them their opportunity to join the Church, and determined that to be a convert was infinitely more valuable than being born into the Church. You may have already spotted the foolishness of my premise, but I'll point it out anyway; I have since learned that, really, being a convert is of no real value compared to the price of being converted- a process that can be either skipped or experienced in either situation. What is the difference? I am convinced that it comes down to the exercise of our agency. Some do the right thing because they are told to-in effect, because they turn their agency over to their parents, their ward, their community, or whoever else. This can be a hugely compelling influence, even causing young men to go on missions without ever having made the choice to do so. Maybe those influencing factors do not think of the effect they have, or maybe they do, and decide that it is better for their loved ones to do the right thing, however that may happen. Others, however, will do the right thing because they understand its necessity and see the wisdom in righteousness, or perhaps they will not necessarily understand, but will have faith sufficient to chose the right regardless. The difference between the two may not be in their actions, but I am convinced that it makes a difference in your progression. That, incidentally, is the reason why Lucifer's plan would never have worked-because doing the right thing is never, ever, ever enough. We would have been a heavenly host, bereft of agency and consigned all together to damnation.

In the Guide des Ecritures (Kinda like a bible dictionary-topical guide combo), we see Damnation defined as a stop in our progression. Doing the right thing does not contribute to our progression, if we have not chosen to do so. Think of it-what price was your agency bought at? To our Father, it was worth one third of His beloved children. But it is immeasurably valuable, because it is the only median through which we can grow. It is the only median through which God's work and glory have any chance of being accomplished. If He is to accomplish His plan, then we must use this most wonderful gift, that he has given us, every single day. Remember; Agency is not simply the ability to choose to do the wrong thing. It is, and has been forever, and must continue to be for each of us throughout all eternity, the means by which we choose to do the right thing.

In Alma 5, conversion is described as having the desire to "sing the song of Redeeming love". Think of what that means for a second. I have a testimony that music is the language through which we communicate when we simply feel too much for words to be sufficient. What joy, what light must fill you, to have such a feeling, and to have such a desire? Alma doesn't just stop after asking his audience if they have been converted-he continues to ask them "Can you feel so now?" Being converted once is great, but it is not enough. We must utilize the grace of the atonement every day of this life and every day afterwards, to become. If you have not been converted, then know that Christ is waiting for you. What better day to receive to yourself the Gift of His Love than the day on which we remember the Gift of His Life? For those of you who have been converted, can ye feel so now? I promise you that you can and will, so long as you are willing.

Today, we commemorate the greatest gift ever given. Today we commemorate the Birth, Life, and Death of Jesus the Christ. But don't stop there. Please, act today. Do whatever you can to deepen your conversion. Do whatever you can to know that Christ loves you, and could have done no more to show that love. Do something different today, and let it carry you. Because enduring to the end is not the process by which we stay the same-it is the process by which we change into "new creatures" (2 Nephi 9:8?). Keep on choosing. Keep on changing.

Today, I cannot give you very much. But I would remind you of He who as already given you everything. I love you all, very very much.

-Elder Kamalu Santos

"Oh sweet, the joy this sentence gives-I know that my Redeemer lives!"

December 18, 2012

Dearest family and friends,

But for that matter, does anyone read this who isn't related to me? I don't want to be presumptuous, you know.

Hey all! The highlight of this week is the fact that I have officially been a missionary for one calender month! So far I'm sitting at 0 baptisms. But hey, there's always next month!

Onward to the good stuff-This week has highlighted a couple interesting points. I'm sure cool stuff happened shortly after my last email Tuesday, but I can't remember squat. So let's start with Saturday!

THE LITTLE THING!
Slight spelling change? Let's see where that takes us.
So anyway, on Saturday we all came back from our gym time, and right as I was about to get changed, Elder Salmon comes into our room and announces "Hey, we've got a mouse in our room!". Obviously, changing was postponed as we went to see the little bugger for ourselves. Sure enough, there was a tiny, incredibly fast mouse which was trying unsuccessfully to hide from us. We eventually accidentally chased it out of Elders Salmon/Anderson's room, at which point it scurried underneath the door of one of the vacant rooms right next door. We called the front desk to let them know, and a few minutes later, MTC security showed up. Which, I know may make you think "what in the world is the security guard going to do, escourt it off the campus?" Turns out, that was basically the plan. Anyway, the four of us ended up helping the security guard trap the mouse (I got to play goal-line D, blocking the door). I don't know if I already said this, but this guy was FAST. And more agile than I thought it would be, zipping across the floor. End of the story, the poor mouse ended up darting out from under the desk at the wrong time, and startled Elder Salmon into kicking it. That sufficiently stunned it, long enough for mister security to scoop it up and take it away. Aand that's this week's story.
And now that I think about it, even though I was going more for the easy pun than anything else (...cuz mice are little), I actually am grateful for that too. It ended up giving a little bit of life to what had been an otherwise dead week.
*No mice were **harmed in the production of this email.

**irreparably

So yeah. That happened.
Then Sunday came along, and the big news was that we had a change at the top in our district. For those of you who aren't regular followers (see the presumptuous comment at the top), I was assigned as District Leader on my second day here. But the halfway point for most of my district was this past Friday, which means that it was time for a change. Five minutes before it was announced in sacrament meeting, Elder Martin and I were informed that I was released as District Leader, and he would be assigned in the same capacity, effective immediately. Which, for me, means that I no longer pick up mail or tell people to be quiet at 2215. Oh, and side note; I'm working on switching over to military time.

Monday, nothing much happened, which brings us up to today. Which is handy, because, by request, I've decided to describe the general shape of a P-day.

P-DAY:
6:30-Wake up. You're still a missionary, after all.
6:34-Stumble, half-blind and half-naked, into the bathroom. Hang out there with a bunch of similarly effected guys for a while. avoid eye contact.
7:00-Finish morning preparations, being brushed, shaved, and dressed in a suit.
7:30-Breakfast. Use Tabasco sauce liberally.
8:00-Personal Study time.
9:00-Leave for the Provo Temple.
9:15-Arrive at the Provo Temple, and proceed to-haha you thought I was going to say!
11:45-Leave the Provo Temple.
12:00-Lunch.
13:00-Go to the lab and send an email.
13:30-Go back to the residence, change into street clothes, and prepare to do laundry.
13:45-Found an open washer yet? I didn't think so.
14:00-Laundry is going, letters are being written.
15:00-Laundry is done! Gather everything up, hang up the white shirts (otherwise you'd have to iron them!), and head back to the residence
16:00-You've folded your laundry, and are now continuing to write letters, depending on how many people have written you during the week,
17:15-By now, you're back in a suit and eating dinner.
18:30-Head to Devotional!
19:00-Devotional
20:00-District Devotional Review (DDR anyone?)
21:00-Plan for the following day.
21:30-Back to the rez. Journal, read mail, and socialize.
22:30- G'night!

Or at least that's how it's supposed to be. Which means that on any given p-day, I spend roughly 12 hours in a white shirt and tie.
But since the Temple closed for the year last week, I didn't get to go today. Or the next two weeks. So I just write a lot of letters in the morning, and do email during laundry time.

Well, I'm already out of time, so I'm going to have to blaze through these.

SPIRITUAL THOUGHT:
Nothing big today. Read Mosiah 14, and imagine what that means for you. "By his stripes we are healed". He has already paid the price to heal you-he completed an infinite atonement, and can do nothing more. So, the question is, have you been healed? Because if not, then what has gone wrong? Obviously the Savior can do no more than what has been done, so how much have you done? Have you looked upon the brazen serpent and been healed? Done the easy part, now that the price has been paid for you to collect? Choose this day to be healed.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you shouldn't eat it either way."

CORRECTIONS:
Last week, I quoted D&C 111, but misquoted it as D&C 11. Whoops.

Alright, I'm way over time. A bientot!

-Elder Kamalu Santos

December 10, 2012

Bonjour ma famille et mes amis,

 

Well, it's been another thrilling week in the Missionary Training Center. Let's talk details.

 

So this past Thursday, the other three members of my district made the day-trip to San Francisco to visit the French Consulate and get their visas. They had a fabulous day filled with adventure, which I think I'll skip explaining. But, some of you may be wondering, what did I do on a day when not just my companion, but my district abandoned me to be a lone man in the MTC? Well, for starters, it was a really good opportunity to get to know some of the other members of my zone. I ended up spending the day on a split with Elders Adams and Kunz, going to Lyon, France, and Benin, respectively. They don't get charachter profiles. But they're awesome. I went to a new class with a new teacher in the morning, which was another fun experience, and then in the evening, Frere Grossin decided to come in anyway, which meant that for the evening class, it was just the two of us. So. That was fun, and I was able to get some very personal and specific help, but as I may have alluded to before, he is a fairly intense teacher, so that was lots of fun. In any case, my district didn't end up returning until around 9pm, which is approximately half an hour before we return to our residence and begin preparing for bed. All in all, a fun day.

Then we go back to the day-to-day MTC life, which continued in a relatively unremarkable pattern right up until Sunday evening. Which I guess I should explain. *sigh* Anyway, what you need to know is that every Sunday and Tuesday evening, all of the MTC gathers into our big auditorium to have a fireside or a devotional. And, for those of you who may have been wondering, as I was, I believe I can explain to you just what the difference is between the two. See, a Fireside occurs on a Sunday, whereas a Devotional occurs on Tuesday. It took me roughly three weeks of personal study time to work that one out. But yes. Sunday evening, we had our usual weekly Fireside (But I don't need to tell YOU guys that!), and we had the opportunity to hear from the BYU Men's Chorus, directed by the world-famous Rosalind Hall. Apparently the do a Christmas Fireside every year at the MTC, which means I had the chance to hear them. I'll be honest, it was more meaningful to me than I thought it would be. It's been a while since I've gotten to hear any sort of music that doesn't come directly from the Hymn Book, and so the chance to hear it performed on such a level really was special. I thought of a speech given at a Juliard Address of some sort, which says in part that the Greeks thought of music as a sort of psychological equivalent to astronomy; it is the study of how the celestial bodies inside each of our minds move and interact. Side note-do we have the technology to find that and send it to me? I really found myself wanting to read it again. Point being, that as I was listening to the testimonies of these young men, I learned something about myself.

 

THINGS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT MYSELF:

Music is, for me, a very effective conduit of revelation. Something about it moves inside me, in such a way that brings light unto understanding.

 

Also, I'm kind of an apple snob. But that is so not the point right now.

 

But yes. That was my Sunday night, and really the only other thing this week that I wanted to write home about. (NO WAY! That's totally where that phrase came from.)

 

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

 

THE LITTLE THINGS:

This week, I am grateful for the Missionary Library. Now, of all the libraries that I have had the opportunity to interact with, this is definitly the smallest, as far as volume is concerned. I mean, it consists of four books, three of which are roughly 100 small pages. But you know, I'm finishing up my second one now, and I'm really coming to appreciate the fact that they have, even in these four small books, take care to provide for our intellectual, spiritual, and emotional needs. I have particularly appreciated "Our Search for Happiness" by M. Russell Ballard, which, when it was written, was actually intended for non-members. But yeah, it's really good. So good in fact, that had I come in contact with it before my mission, I would have gladly read it in my own free time, assuming that just about every other book was banned. And that I wasn't allowed to use phones, computers, or TVs. Okay, so I may not be great at selling the product, but really. Check it out.

Aaand on an unrelated note, the church has officially asked me to stop endorsing books.

 

SPIRITUAL THOUGHT:

Here's something else cool for this week; I got a letter from Elder Doe. It wasn't incredibly long, but I was very, very grateful to recieve it. He said only a few things, among them the fact that he was grateful for my support and example, and that he was not looking at this as a defeat. He plans to return to the MTC as soon as he is capable.

Why do I bring this up? Because it taught me something important. In D&C 11, I believe, God gives a revelation to Joseph Smith and some of the brethren who had traveled to Boston on a "treasure hunt" of sorts. They were looking for money which had, according to legend, been lost and was up for the taking if they could find it. They get there, and, surprise surprise, no treasure. But God responds in a way that says, I believe, that "notwithstanding your follies, there is a great treasure for you to be found here". The moral of the story is simple, with a slight disclaimer. First, 1 Nephi 3:7 is quite clear in its explination that God does not plan for us to fail. When he asks us to do something, we absolutely can do it. But, you know what, sometimes we do fail. And the magical thing about that is the response of our loving Heavenly Father. We crawl back to him, tears of shame perhaps wetting our face, and admit "I messed up pretty good, didn't I?" It is in this moment, when we know that we've gone astray, that God tells us "It's okay. Yeah, this isn't what I had in mind, but you just watch if we can't still make this GREAT". Notwithsanding our follies, God makes the best of our situation, so long as we ask him for our help. And that is awesome.

 

QUOTE FOR THE WEEK:

One of the memebers of men's chorus asked a convert why they had made so many sacrifices to do something as simple as attending church.

Their response: "We had to know if this work was true, and sacrificing for Jesus was the only way to do that".

 

 

I'm way out of time. Love to you all,

 

-Elder Kamalu Santos

December 4, 2012

Week 3...I think...

I mean I'm pretty sure, at least. Time gets weird here.

 

Anyway, bonjour chere famille! And others. Hopefully.

 

So I'll be honest, I'm coming to the computer this time without really having anything in particular that I'm dying to tell you. I don't know, once the sugarbuzz of having a nametag wears off, I kinda start to notice that every day here is very very full in a way that is pretty consistently the same. So hopefully if you have questions I will respond to them in the regular course of events.

This week has been fun. Probably the best part has been being able to see some people who I knew on the outside-I've spent a decent amount of time with Elder Millett, and we of course did our usual and commendable job of making fools of ourselves, but there were also a couple new arrivals this week, including Elder Sammons, who, for those of you who don't know, was my roommate during fall-winter. Funny story on that one-I was on my way to a meal one day, when Hansen yelled my name from behind me. Told me to follow (Didn't tell me why), and then just kinda took off. Anyway, I go chasing after him, and as I'm trying to catch up from 20 paces behind, I almost didn't notice the tall ginger striding towards me. If you don't know who Colten is, you won't really get that part either. But yeah, that was really awesome. Justine, if you're reading this, then he delivered your message, and I miss you too. A few other friends came in this past week, but I haven't gotten to see them yet. Hopefully soon.

 

Beyond that, the language is going well, I'm brushing up on grammar principles and learning just how abysmal my spelling is in the French Language. But hey, hopefully I won't have to convert anyone in a letter. Still, it would be nice to have the option...

I have two investigators now; Marc, who looks remarkably like Frere Grossin without a tie, and Daphney, who-Oh, I haven't told you about Soeur Pace!

 

CHARACHTERS:

Soeur Pace: She is my other regular classroom teacher. She was there the very first day that we arrived, but then disappeared to take a trip back to her mission in Montreal, where she had the opportunity to escourt one of her converts through the temple. Awesome, right? The only teacher I've ever had that can compare to her enthusiasm level would be-you guessed it, Frere Grossin. So it's usually a pretty happening place in our classroom of four elders.

 

But yeah, she's Daphney.

 

Something else that was interesting this week-we had two districts from our zone leave the MTC; this included our Zone Leaders, Tech Leaders, Sacrament meeting coordinaters, Music coordinater, and Coordinating sister (Which is kinda like a zone leader, but just for the Sisters). So yeah. Lots of changes in our branch structure. New Zone leaders from the Hatian Creole district, and Elder Millett and his companion are the new Tech guys. So that's fun.

 

So a couple people have pointed out that it is now December, and in places that aren't the MTC, that means that people start thinking about Christmas. To answer a question from earlier, I would love to receive a pair of rubber slippers. Because the bathroom slippers that I am using now, for some reason, are retaining water in a bad way. Basically, every time I put them on, my feet are wet again. So yeah. I would prefer something cheap, that I wouldn't feel any particular obligation to protect, because I'm only wearing these things when I'm in the bathroom, which is not a consudive environment for keeping things nice. Also, please coordinate this, because I don't have the room or the need for multiple pairs. Thanks! Love you all.

 

Now for this week's tender mercy.

 

THE LITTLE THINGS:

Not much to say about this one, but it is made up of three parts.

1. The drink, Caffiene Free Doctor Pepper, exists.

2. The drink, Caffiene Free Doctor Pepper, is sold in the MTC bookstore.

3. The drink, Caffiene Free Doctor Pepper, is really good.

And yeah, that's a blessing and a curse, because I really don't need to spend money on that, but look at it this way-for the amount of money it costs me to dry clean one suit jacket, I could have 7 cans of Dr. P!

Mom, don't freak out.

 

SPIRITUAL THOUGHT:

What is the significance of the MTC? Why is the work here really all that important? Certainly not for the value of my proselyting, as I teach RM's how to pray. I'm not have going to left here with the knowledge that my efforts had brought a single person closer to baptism. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here because there is a slight chance that after nine weeks of the worlds most intense EFY/Bootcamp, there's a chance that I might know what I'm talking about. Because regarldess of what else I do for others, if everything goes according to plan, then I will have exactly one convert when I leave the MTC. And, yeah, as far as I'm concerned, it's a pretty important person to have converted. Every single thing that we are practicing, over and over, to ask our investigators to do, is something that God wants us to do. We will want them to pray to recieve knowledge. We will want them to pray more often, and more earnestly. We will ask them, time and again, to study their scriptures and find out what God is trying to tell them. We will ask them, time and again, to go to Church and then figure out why it's important to do so, and what the Spirit taught them. We will ask them to make and keep covenants with God, because we will tell them that in doing so, they will be happier than they ever could be without.

 

Was that spiritual? I'm not sure. Ah well, you can't win them all.

 

I love you. All of you. I pray for you very often. Keep me updated on how life is going, because I don't want to be nagging my Heavenly Father with requests that have already been answered.

Until next week!

 

-Elder Kamalu Santos.