April 7, 2014

La Conférence Générale

So yeah, that happened this week. Just in case you weren't au courant. aware

So I'm going to start this email off with a big disclaimer; because weeks are so full, it is very rare that I make it to Monday and that I can actually remember anything that happened a week ago. This leads to all of my emails being pretty heavily focused on the back end of the week. So it will be with this one.

But, here's one thing that I do remember! Tuesday, we had an exchange in which I was with Elder Sims, a great missionary who has been in the field for approximately one week. I had a great time reminiscing about back in the day, trying to understand people and basically saying to everyone I meet "I'm Elder Santos...I'm new...". Also (and Mom, I hesitate to tell you this, but I'll do it anyway), at the end of the exchange, when I asked if he had any suggestions for me or for our area, what he said was "try to keep your apartment cleaner". So. Take that for what you will.

Wednesday was exciting too, because we were just a little bit triple-booked. Elder Harrison had a legal appointment at the prefecture in Basseterre at 8am, our car was overdue for a revision and we had an appointment in Jarry at 7h30, and then we had what we call Mission Leadership Council on the computer at 10am. Well, we used the split to solve the first problem (I took the car, he went to BT), but then, carless, we had to get to the church for our appointment. I asked Elder Sims if we should walk or try to figure out the bus system, and he said walk. So we took off, for what I thought would be a much shorter distance than it ended up being. Long, uninteresting story short, we ended up walking about 1h 15 for what Google maps says is about a 5 mile walk. It was the first time in a long time that I could feel a blister forming on my foot!

Anyhow, you all saw conference too, so I won't give you a play-by-play, but just as food for thought, what did you think of Elder Packer's talk? Especially the ending, my jaw dropped.

Also, there was a moment on Sunday, when Elder Harrison and I had a relatively short period in which it felt like everyone came together to tell us what we were doing wrong. And as I've been reflecting on it, I've realized that I think one of the hardest things for me (think about my externally motivated thing from last week) is to have people that I care about be unhappy with the work that I do; at least, when I feel that I've been doing my best. If my love language is affirmation, then it's true that being told what I'm doing wrong is a particularly humbling experience. But one that I need, and one that I'm sure to keep getting.

I love being a missionary, because I love seeing the power of deliverance. A modified version of a Thomas S Monson quote has been coming to my mind recently- I always want to be on the Lords errand, for then I will always be entitled to the Lord's help.

Love you all!

-Elder Santos

1-no explanation needed.

2-I bought new shoelaces! Here's the old ones.

3-I love you mom! This is in between conferences sessions on Saturday.

March 31, 2014

Transfer week!

It's interesting to think about, because really there have been a lot of things that have happened this week, but because it's been so long, I can't really think of any of them.

Anyway, I'm now with Elder Harrison, everyone is in their areas, and life is going along like normal.

And we continue!

Two things for this week. First off, Elder Monson, a senior missionary from Trinidad, was in Guadeloupe this past week. He happens to be a career consultant. And I happen to need career consulting. So this works out nicely! I asked him if he could help me figure out what to do with my life, and he kindly agreed to have a session with me. This basically consisted of sitting down and talking about my life. Big takeaways:

1-I am an externally motivated person. As opposed to internally motivated people, who desire in and of themselves to be excellent (sorry about the grades, mom!), I am mostly motivated by the chance to make other people happy and to be recognized by others for doing something great.

2-One of the most important things to me in life is my personal relationships with people for whom I care deeply. Even if other things are going wrong, I will be happy so long as I love and am loved.

3-I don't know how else to say this one, so I'm going to quote it as best as I can; "I believe that you will be fundamentally unhappy if you do not do something in your life that will use the intellect that you have been given".

So some suggestions were consultant, psychologist, or family practice doctor.

Other thing! As we were in our district meeting this past week, talking about obedience, I realized a few things. I was thinking about Elder Holland's talk "The first great commandment", and I thought about a different scene. The Lord and Peter sat before a massive pile of fish, and Jesus asked his senior apostle the question "Lovest thou me more than these?" Peter's affirmative answer was met with a request that, if such was true, he abandon that which he loves the least, to do the will of He who he loved the most.

Then that new vision of things-I saw myself and the Savior, sitting on the lakeside, with all my petty sins heaped in a pile before me. I can only imagine Him, a saddened, pained look in his eyes, turning to me and asking "Elder Santos, didn't you love me more than these?" I know already the answer that I will want so desperately to give, but I fear also the guilt that may fill my heart as I try to tell Him that such was the case. More than anything else, I want to show my love for the Lord. I want to choose Him, because I love Him more. I think that if we all understood what the Lord feels when He sees us leaving him and going back to our fish, we might be more hesitant to do so. So I want to work today, so that when He asks me that great question, I will be able to look Him in the eye and tell Him "Lord, you know that I love you".

Most of my thoughts make a lot more sense in my brain. Oh well.

I love you!

-Elder Santos

March 24, 2014

Close...

..but no cigar. Yet.

Thank you though, for your prayers. They did, believe it or not, make a difference. We'll get to that in a sec.

Pono! Bienvenue à la maison! Je t'aime beaucoup. Welcome home! I love you very much.

So, Elder Tolman and I had two transfers together. And in both transfers, we had a miracle person come out of nowhere and prepare to get baptized the last Saturday of the transfer. And in both transfers, the baptism fell through within 24 hours. Which sounds like a discouraging thought, but really it's not that bad.

Slorane had her baptismal interview on Thursday and did great. Karine's ended up not happening until Saturday morning, and President Eclar said that she wasn't totally ready. Slorane decided to wait for her mom to be ready so they could get baptized together. So, the major difference is that this time, they're still working towards baptism, and we know what we need to do beforehand to get there. So I'm very grateful for that. Keep praying!

Also, we got our transfer calls. Elder Tolman is (duh) going home. I'm staying in Morne-à-l'eau, and Elder Harrison, who was the district leader in Capesterre, is going to be my companion. He's one transfer younger than me, he's from Utah, he's cool. More about him next week.

I'm not super email motivated this week, but it's cool. I love you!

à bientôt, Soon

-Elder Santos

March 18, 2014

A salute to the fallen...

I just started this email with "Dear Elder Santos". Then I realized that it makes no sense, erased it, and then realized that I didn't have anything else to start this with.

Also, look at how good I am at transitions!

This week has been a very fun one. Way back on Monday, we had our Sister Training Leader, Sister Crompton, fly in from St Martin to do exchanges. Yeah, we're in a special mission. She was there until Thursday and, as a non-sister, we really only saw her when picking her up and dropping her off, but it was a good experience for them!

Tuesday we had a zone meeting, in which we taught, among other things, about positive thoughts. One big takeaway is that negative thoughts and feelings come from the adversary. A quote from someone says that, while he would love to see us fighting for evil, he still rejoices to see us dispute and quarrel for what we believe to be a righteous cause, because we are still accomplishing his purpose. So be kind.

Now, since teaching this principle, it's been on my mind a lot, and I've realized just how hard it really is to delete negative thoughts and words from your mind. The natural man really is such a pessimist! But I have also seen that when I do my best to avoid being negative about people or situations, true love rushes in to fill the space that all that negativity was taking up.

Other than that, yeah. Please pray for Karine and Slorane Nagera, whose baptism was announced in church on Sunday.

I wanted also to add my testimony to that of Pono's about the enabling power of the atonement. One of the best things about a mission for me has been the fact that, maybe for the first time in my life, I have consistently found myself in situations that were simply too big for me, in which I was wholly and entirely insufficient. I testify that when we come unto the Lord, He will show us our weakness. I know that there are many things in this life, and not only our ultimate salvation to come, which we cannot do on our own. And I have learned in many times and in many ways, on my knees and on my feet, that when I cannot, and when I do not, and when I am not, that there is another, greater than me, who know exactly where I am and who desires greatly to succor me in my afflictions. I know that He will lift me up. He will deliver me still. I am His representative and I am His witness, in all times and in all things and in all places. And so I invite you all, every person who reads this, to seek that Jesus of which the prophets have spoken, and to receive of His grace.

Pono, I love you. As the apostles have said, go home, but don't leave the mission field. I'll see you soon.

love,

-Elder Santos

ps pictures from a hike to la chute de Moreau the fall of Moreau on Monday.